Cosleeping By Accident

I realized today when trying to put my almost 9 month old breastfeed baby down for bed that without even thinking about it we have been cosleeping.   She was a week old and I was reading books on sleep and how to get her to sleep.  I never accounted for the fact that all children are different and that there is always an exception to the rule.  The book I read had weight requirements for each sleeping milestone and my child has been under weigh….meaning that plan did not work for us and to this day she is not a big eater so the thought of putting her to bed full and she will sleep through the night is over.

Here we are..she will be 9 months in a few days.   I always start her in the crib but most night she ends up in our bed.  I would like to fault having a bed big enough but now I actually have to start looking at all of this as a blessing.   Today I considered one thought…if this is my only child and my only opportunity to have a baby then perhaps I wouldn’t mind snuggling with an infant at night.

Am I wrong for wanting my child to be close to me??  I find in the moment that she is asleep and laying with us I can actualize the blessing in a child.  So innocent, so peaceful and more than anything a definite life changer.  And with that said i very much appreciate the person I have become over the last 9 months.  Motherhood definitely changes you and personally it helped me to see the simple blessings and joys in life.

Nights like these…

So here is a day in the life of a police officers wife…

An indictment comes down or DOESN’T and now they hold the police officers in the event that people start protesting.

So of course they start protesting and now they are stuck at work…

As a new mom and new wife the other aspect of this life… is the life of a cop’s wife.  And it is very different.  They think they are going in for day and have to stay..they protect and serve their city when everyone is rallying against them.

And while I may not always agree with the practices of others and how the force is run generally, it is still a job for my love.

Soon I will have to find the right words for my child and be able to explain to her about the life of her father and his role in society.   It can be a hard pill to swallow.

And you just want them to come home at night and be a husband and a father…

Every day that they leave you …you just have to hope that they return….