Getting antsy about Baby #1

So as soon as baby #1 starts walking people start asking about baby #2.  For me personally, I would love to know to have another but is all in God’s timing.  I just find it so interesting that a woman has sooo many challenges once they start having children.  Everyone has an opinion…everyone has something to say about everything..what they eat, how they sleep, what you buy them..what they wear…who they play with etc.  Its mentally exhausting!!

Its taken me a year and a half to ignore it.  But recently a woman was sooo serious..she pulled me to the side and said…please don’t wait until she is 2 to have another one…trust me.

I walked away like wow is she telling me something serious here that I am not paying attention to?  Clearly time will tell but I really started to wonder.

Is there perfect timing with having the next child?

The first time you leave overnight….

So I left my little for the first time.  The MR.  and I decided to take a 3 day trip and leave her with grandma.  My mom watches whenever I travel for work so I was very comfortable with that.

What I was not prepared for was my own emotions.  Flight lands…I am in paradise but I had to check in for bedtime to make sure she was good.  I called and she was already asleep.  My mom tells the story of how she went up to my picture and looked for me everywhere in the house.

I hung the phone up and BALLED my eyes out for about 15 minutes.  I had to go redo my makeup because I cried so hard.  Who knew it would be so difficult??  I just felt like something was missing and that i was terrible for leaving her.  I know I need this much needed trip but I was not prepared for the rollercoaster that it would put me in.

Night number two was better for her and for me.  Gosh I know wonder what things will be like when she goes to school..college…moves out??  Who knew motherhood would because such a source of personal reflection and growth.

I did notice something different about myself…I am much more confident.  Something about motherhood has created a much more driven person within.  I am starting a online shop…I help a friend build her business and now I just became a Beachbody Coach so that I can help other people AND myself get into shape.  Before motherhood…all I did was work!! Somehow now I can fit all of this other stuff in AND play with a baby all day.

I am happy..I am proud and more than anything I know how blessed I am. There will be more times that I have to leave her but I know that both of us benefit and grow as the days go on.