The clash between Corporate America and Motherhood

So I have not written in a while or taken the time to jot down thoughts due to on-boarding a new client at work and potty training.  CRAZY right.  Two major events happening at once.

I decided I needed to vent out my major concern with corporate america and the mom.  I didn’t notice how bad things were until Baby #2 was on the way! (super excited)  I announced it to the head of my department and the response was more like “oh its fine its fine, we will figure it out.”  Stunned!

So many questions go thru my mind at this point.  Are women being penalized for starting a family? Should you be shady towards someone because of their choices.  I have waited my entire life to have children and it appears that my job frowns upon that very thing.  Rather than being supportive they wanted to know right away when I was coming back from leave, how long would I take off etc.  It did not inspire confidence at all.  Instead I am left wondering why should I work for a company like this and why aren’t expanding families considered HUGE blessings.  I also am running around working like crazy because I feel like I need to be PERFECT at everything and that my company is doing me a favor by ‘”letting” me go out on leave.  It’s quitepaid_maternity_leave insane.  I find myself working longer days, nights and even on the weekends just to prove that I am still committed and going hard.

It feels like I am being penalized because I am pregnant.  I am almost sure that no one else works this hard nor has to go thru so many hoops just to prove themselves.  But then I also noticed that when men announce their wife is pregnant they get promoted and their leave time is celebrated.  Strange very very Strange.

So…now that I got this out.  I am done with the foolishness! No more killing myself for a company.  I will do anything for my family and quite frankly WHO WOULDN’T!!

I hope that this is an isolated situation and that lots of women don’t find this to be true too.

 

The first time you leave overnight….

So I left my little for the first time.  The MR.  and I decided to take a 3 day trip and leave her with grandma.  My mom watches whenever I travel for work so I was very comfortable with that.

What I was not prepared for was my own emotions.  Flight lands…I am in paradise but I had to check in for bedtime to make sure she was good.  I called and she was already asleep.  My mom tells the story of how she went up to my picture and looked for me everywhere in the house.

I hung the phone up and BALLED my eyes out for about 15 minutes.  I had to go redo my makeup because I cried so hard.  Who knew it would be so difficult??  I just felt like something was missing and that i was terrible for leaving her.  I know I need this much needed trip but I was not prepared for the rollercoaster that it would put me in.

Night number two was better for her and for me.  Gosh I know wonder what things will be like when she goes to school..college…moves out??  Who knew motherhood would because such a source of personal reflection and growth.

I did notice something different about myself…I am much more confident.  Something about motherhood has created a much more driven person within.  I am starting a online shop…I help a friend build her business and now I just became a Beachbody Coach so that I can help other people AND myself get into shape.  Before motherhood…all I did was work!! Somehow now I can fit all of this other stuff in AND play with a baby all day.

I am happy..I am proud and more than anything I know how blessed I am. There will be more times that I have to leave her but I know that both of us benefit and grow as the days go on.

15 months…too soon to start potty training

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So I noticed that my daughter is now going into the bathroom and standing by the toliet randomly. I was scratching my head like hmmm what is she doing. Is it possible that she is ready to start potty training?? Can that really be the case??

Seems a bit early but I am one of those people who pays attention to signed so I went ahead and purchased two different pottys. One for home and one for travel!!

Always gotta be prepared!!

The Pool and the Slide

I spent all winter waiting for summer because once my daughter started walking I knew that summer was going to be great and filled with fun and games.  I am big big big on PLAY and I think its especially important for children to be able to run around and play outside.  So I found all these pins on Pinterest that had tons of activities for toddlers outside.

My overall FAVORITE has been the Slide and Inflatable Pool.  I even added ball pit balls to the playpen.  My goal for winter is use the slide in the pool but fill it with the balls instead of water.  SOOO much fun!!

I have had the slide all of three weeks and its a HIT!!She loves going outside and trying it over and over to go up and down the slide!

Such a great feeling and I the weather has been great for play in NY!  I found everything on amazon and it shipped in 2 days!!! Slide and Baby Pool is GREAT!! (sidenote:  I continue to go to the toy stores in the area to find this stuff but Amazon ends up winning because they always have the selection.  I was able to get the balls and the slide in one place rather than have to go from store to store!! Its a no brainer!!

Finding the Time to Think

One of the things no one told me about motherhood was just the very simple fact that there would be days, weeks etc. where you would go without doing lots of thinking.  You are almost always on auto-drive and you just move from one thing to the next trying to keep up.  I now have a one year old and I swear she was just born.  I am just starting to find the time to do things again for myself.  Then there is the time I used to spend with friends.  Now its nearly non existent and if I get the chance to “sneak away” I have to almost train myself to relax!

Well…cheers to motherhood.  I suppose you live and you learn.  One of these days I will stop heating up my coffee in the microwave about 5 times before realizing that its already time for bed and that I never even got to drink my coffee lol.

The First Kids Party

Last weekend we attended our first kids party with baby in tow.  My husband and I were truly surprised!! I was running around doing the limbo, pinata and playing games.  And he was with the fellas having drinks and watching the children play.

Then someone came over to me and said.  First kids party huh?  I was like how can you tell!!?? He said don’t worry it normally turns into an adults party afterwards.

I decided in that moment that even though is is only 9 months and can’t do much yet with other kids, I enjoyed exposing her to the fun involved with parties, games and playing along!  I found myself smiling within.  Without a huge network of moms close by it was nice to just sit back, talk to other moms and watch the kids play!

The downside of course was that after her first kids party…followed her first virus!! The gift that keeps giving because now I have it as well!

I spent the first couple of days beating myself up and then finally realized that it happened and that there is nothing else to do!  Now turn way to protect a child.  I washed her hands..dressed her warmly, etc.

Another lesson in motherhood.  Being more flexible and learning to enjoy all of the moments.  I have spent the last week nursing her back to health…but I suppose the beauty of it all is learning that I CAN.