So I left my little for the first time. The MR. and I decided to take a 3 day trip and leave her with grandma. My mom watches whenever I travel for work so I was very comfortable with that.
What I was not prepared for was my own emotions. Flight lands…I am in paradise but I had to check in for bedtime to make sure she was good. I called and she was already asleep. My mom tells the story of how she went up to my picture and looked for me everywhere in the house.
I hung the phone up and BALLED my eyes out for about 15 minutes. I had to go redo my makeup because I cried so hard. Who knew it would be so difficult?? I just felt like something was missing and that i was terrible for leaving her. I know I need this much needed trip but I was not prepared for the rollercoaster that it would put me in.
Night number two was better for her and for me. Gosh I know wonder what things will be like when she goes to school..college…moves out?? Who knew motherhood would because such a source of personal reflection and growth.
I did notice something different about myself…I am much more confident. Something about motherhood has created a much more driven person within. I am starting a online shop…I help a friend build her business and now I just became a Beachbody Coach so that I can help other people AND myself get into shape. Before motherhood…all I did was work!! Somehow now I can fit all of this other stuff in AND play with a baby all day.
I am happy..I am proud and more than anything I know how blessed I am. There will be more times that I have to leave her but I know that both of us benefit and grow as the days go on.