Getting antsy about Baby #1

So as soon as baby #1 starts walking people start asking about baby #2.  For me personally, I would love to know to have another but is all in God’s timing.  I just find it so interesting that a woman has sooo many challenges once they start having children.  Everyone has an opinion…everyone has something to say about everything..what they eat, how they sleep, what you buy them..what they wear…who they play with etc.  Its mentally exhausting!!

Its taken me a year and a half to ignore it.  But recently a woman was sooo serious..she pulled me to the side and said…please don’t wait until she is 2 to have another one…trust me.

I walked away like wow is she telling me something serious here that I am not paying attention to?  Clearly time will tell but I really started to wonder.

Is there perfect timing with having the next child?

The first time you leave overnight….

So I left my little for the first time.  The MR.  and I decided to take a 3 day trip and leave her with grandma.  My mom watches whenever I travel for work so I was very comfortable with that.

What I was not prepared for was my own emotions.  Flight lands…I am in paradise but I had to check in for bedtime to make sure she was good.  I called and she was already asleep.  My mom tells the story of how she went up to my picture and looked for me everywhere in the house.

I hung the phone up and BALLED my eyes out for about 15 minutes.  I had to go redo my makeup because I cried so hard.  Who knew it would be so difficult??  I just felt like something was missing and that i was terrible for leaving her.  I know I need this much needed trip but I was not prepared for the rollercoaster that it would put me in.

Night number two was better for her and for me.  Gosh I know wonder what things will be like when she goes to school..college…moves out??  Who knew motherhood would because such a source of personal reflection and growth.

I did notice something different about myself…I am much more confident.  Something about motherhood has created a much more driven person within.  I am starting a online shop…I help a friend build her business and now I just became a Beachbody Coach so that I can help other people AND myself get into shape.  Before motherhood…all I did was work!! Somehow now I can fit all of this other stuff in AND play with a baby all day.

I am happy..I am proud and more than anything I know how blessed I am. There will be more times that I have to leave her but I know that both of us benefit and grow as the days go on.

Cosleeping By Accident

I realized today when trying to put my almost 9 month old breastfeed baby down for bed that without even thinking about it we have been cosleeping.   She was a week old and I was reading books on sleep and how to get her to sleep.  I never accounted for the fact that all children are different and that there is always an exception to the rule.  The book I read had weight requirements for each sleeping milestone and my child has been under weigh….meaning that plan did not work for us and to this day she is not a big eater so the thought of putting her to bed full and she will sleep through the night is over.

Here we are..she will be 9 months in a few days.   I always start her in the crib but most night she ends up in our bed.  I would like to fault having a bed big enough but now I actually have to start looking at all of this as a blessing.   Today I considered one thought…if this is my only child and my only opportunity to have a baby then perhaps I wouldn’t mind snuggling with an infant at night.

Am I wrong for wanting my child to be close to me??  I find in the moment that she is asleep and laying with us I can actualize the blessing in a child.  So innocent, so peaceful and more than anything a definite life changer.  And with that said i very much appreciate the person I have become over the last 9 months.  Motherhood definitely changes you and personally it helped me to see the simple blessings and joys in life.

How Feminism Begat Intensive Mothering

Ideas

Feminism and motherhood have long been cast as feuding sisters, one always attempting to undermine the other. In this calculation, women had to choose between the independence, education and self-expression of the feminist path and the nurture, sacrifice and child-centricity of the family path. The more feminist a woman is, the less appetite, it has been suggested, she will have for mothering.

Ironically, however, the opposite is true.

Women’s rising social and economic power has not squelched their desire to be mothers. Quite the opposite: it has enabled women to mother with ferocity. They research; they seek out best practices; they join a group, form a committee and agitate for their version of feeding/disciplining/sleeping. If you don’t believe me, just visit a breast-feeding support group with former litigators, marketing executives and investment bankers. Reluctant sucklers don’t stand a chance.

(MORE: Confessions of an Accidental Attachment Parent)

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Natural Parenting VS Attachment Parenting VS Cry It Out

So as  new mom there are ALL these terms you learn right away.  Its like a secret society full of teams and everyone has their terms.  People ask are you keeping the crib in the room, are you letting her sleep in the bed or when are you going to start letting her cry it out.  All of them seem extreme to me in some instances.  Like occasionally she sleeps with us but then some days I am in need of good sleep and put her in the crib…I cannot let her cry longer than about 3 mins before it breaks my heart and I am all for team breastfeeding to support her immune system. What team does that place me on?

Well then I had a thought…perhaps each kid needs a different type of parenting style.  I can see how its easier to let them sleep with you if its only one kid…or what about people who live in small places and they literally HAVE to sleep together…is that still called attachment parenting??

I feel bad for the second child who ends up having to cry it out when the parents have had enough lol.

In short, I think I am team “parent for the type of kid that you have”…I just made that up so who knows how many others follow that…:)

Here are some resources that discuss each “TEAM”.

Natural Parenting

Attachment Parenting

Cry it Out Method