The clash between Corporate America and Motherhood

So I have not written in a while or taken the time to jot down thoughts due to on-boarding a new client at work and potty training.  CRAZY right.  Two major events happening at once.

I decided I needed to vent out my major concern with corporate america and the mom.  I didn’t notice how bad things were until Baby #2 was on the way! (super excited)  I announced it to the head of my department and the response was more like “oh its fine its fine, we will figure it out.”  Stunned!

So many questions go thru my mind at this point.  Are women being penalized for starting a family? Should you be shady towards someone because of their choices.  I have waited my entire life to have children and it appears that my job frowns upon that very thing.  Rather than being supportive they wanted to know right away when I was coming back from leave, how long would I take off etc.  It did not inspire confidence at all.  Instead I am left wondering why should I work for a company like this and why aren’t expanding families considered HUGE blessings.  I also am running around working like crazy because I feel like I need to be PERFECT at everything and that my company is doing me a favor by ‘”letting” me go out on leave.  It’s quitepaid_maternity_leave insane.  I find myself working longer days, nights and even on the weekends just to prove that I am still committed and going hard.

It feels like I am being penalized because I am pregnant.  I am almost sure that no one else works this hard nor has to go thru so many hoops just to prove themselves.  But then I also noticed that when men announce their wife is pregnant they get promoted and their leave time is celebrated.  Strange very very Strange.

So…now that I got this out.  I am done with the foolishness! No more killing myself for a company.  I will do anything for my family and quite frankly WHO WOULDN’T!!

I hope that this is an isolated situation and that lots of women don’t find this to be true too.

 

The first time you leave overnight….

So I left my little for the first time.  The MR.  and I decided to take a 3 day trip and leave her with grandma.  My mom watches whenever I travel for work so I was very comfortable with that.

What I was not prepared for was my own emotions.  Flight lands…I am in paradise but I had to check in for bedtime to make sure she was good.  I called and she was already asleep.  My mom tells the story of how she went up to my picture and looked for me everywhere in the house.

I hung the phone up and BALLED my eyes out for about 15 minutes.  I had to go redo my makeup because I cried so hard.  Who knew it would be so difficult??  I just felt like something was missing and that i was terrible for leaving her.  I know I need this much needed trip but I was not prepared for the rollercoaster that it would put me in.

Night number two was better for her and for me.  Gosh I know wonder what things will be like when she goes to school..college…moves out??  Who knew motherhood would because such a source of personal reflection and growth.

I did notice something different about myself…I am much more confident.  Something about motherhood has created a much more driven person within.  I am starting a online shop…I help a friend build her business and now I just became a Beachbody Coach so that I can help other people AND myself get into shape.  Before motherhood…all I did was work!! Somehow now I can fit all of this other stuff in AND play with a baby all day.

I am happy..I am proud and more than anything I know how blessed I am. There will be more times that I have to leave her but I know that both of us benefit and grow as the days go on.

Sitting Outside during Nap Time

One of the joys is truly that moment when the kids are down for a nap and you get some much needed alone time.  I have learned to make the most of Nap times…its my quiet time too!! Especially on the weekends when I am not working.

Today I decided to kick up my feet and sunbath.  Best idea I have come up with in a really long time.  It feels like I am away somewhere…and she is just inside asleep!!

Motherhood helps you to truly cherish every moment in life and take those moments to yourself when you get the opportunity.  The wind blows, the shade comes and goes and the sun feels wonderful on my skin.  Very very happy.

Being happy in motherhood is truly a blessing!!

Attending a Pool Party Post Baby

I’m headed to a pool party for work. 😦 YUCK!  But I did find some success when I found a swimsuit that is post baby body friendly.  I still think I will be wearing a sundress and hoping no one notices that extra pounds around my mid section!! I am working on it though! Signed up for weight watchers this week and I hope to find success there!

Check them out here.

Nights like these…

So here is a day in the life of a police officers wife…

An indictment comes down or DOESN’T and now they hold the police officers in the event that people start protesting.

So of course they start protesting and now they are stuck at work…

As a new mom and new wife the other aspect of this life… is the life of a cop’s wife.  And it is very different.  They think they are going in for day and have to stay..they protect and serve their city when everyone is rallying against them.

And while I may not always agree with the practices of others and how the force is run generally, it is still a job for my love.

Soon I will have to find the right words for my child and be able to explain to her about the life of her father and his role in society.   It can be a hard pill to swallow.

And you just want them to come home at night and be a husband and a father…

Every day that they leave you …you just have to hope that they return….

With the Holidays

The holidays are here and I couldn’t be more happy! As a new mom I have already started gathering holiday outfits and decorations!! There is something magical about the holidays and what it represents.  Baby’s first Christmas is such a beautiful blessing and milestone.

How can I contain my excitement??  I am going to somehow stop myself from buying tons of red and silver and gold!