The first time you leave overnight….

So I left my little for the first time.  The MR.  and I decided to take a 3 day trip and leave her with grandma.  My mom watches whenever I travel for work so I was very comfortable with that.

What I was not prepared for was my own emotions.  Flight lands…I am in paradise but I had to check in for bedtime to make sure she was good.  I called and she was already asleep.  My mom tells the story of how she went up to my picture and looked for me everywhere in the house.

I hung the phone up and BALLED my eyes out for about 15 minutes.  I had to go redo my makeup because I cried so hard.  Who knew it would be so difficult??  I just felt like something was missing and that i was terrible for leaving her.  I know I need this much needed trip but I was not prepared for the rollercoaster that it would put me in.

Night number two was better for her and for me.  Gosh I know wonder what things will be like when she goes to school..college…moves out??  Who knew motherhood would because such a source of personal reflection and growth.

I did notice something different about myself…I am much more confident.  Something about motherhood has created a much more driven person within.  I am starting a online shop…I help a friend build her business and now I just became a Beachbody Coach so that I can help other people AND myself get into shape.  Before motherhood…all I did was work!! Somehow now I can fit all of this other stuff in AND play with a baby all day.

I am happy..I am proud and more than anything I know how blessed I am. There will be more times that I have to leave her but I know that both of us benefit and grow as the days go on.